Okay. Time for a little history lesson. Back in the 1700s the 13 colonies were sick of what Britain was doing to them so they sent representatives from each state to create the Declaration of Independence. Once the colonies received their independence they had to get together to create the Constitution. Now I always thought that the Founding Fathers got together and talked about if for a minute but after a day they all agreed on what they wanted the Constitution to say and they were on their way. That wasn’t the case at all. This was 13 different groups of people who all had different ways to govern their people. It took a lot of compromise for these great men to create a contract that we still use today.
Now what does this have to do with family? Well when a relationship comes to the point of marriage, a husband and a wife have to come together to create their own family, in a way write their own constitution. I think in a lot of people’s minds when it comes to marriage they believe that because they love the person they are with, they will believe that living with that person will be easy. But just like the Constitution, there will be times that there will be disagreement.
Each person comes from their own background. No one person is raised the same way, so bringing two people from these different worlds and then having them have to coexist with one another can be difficult, but just like the Constitution it is possible for compromise. There will be things that we don’t like about our spouse that we didn’t realize was a problem before we got married, but communication and understanding can make it possible for life to be happy.
I am not married but I have seen this change in my own life. I was born into a family that wasn’t really satisfactory, and so my siblings and I were put up for adoption. Before I was adopted I lived in a one bedroom house and slept in the same bed as my grandmother, and two siblings. I only ate kid’s meals from Wendy’s, McDonalds, and Burger King. I was surrounded by drugs and alcohol. My grandmother tried to be a good guardian, but it was really hard for her due to her health. Once I got adopted I had a bed of my own. I was introduced to food that wasn’t chicken nuggets. I had a healthy environment to live in.
All of these things were good for me but it wasn’t an easy transition. I hated vegetables. I hated any food that wasn’t chicken nuggets or French fries. There would be nights that my new mother would sit and argue with me about how I needed to eat my carrots. She would say something like if you don’t eat these you will just go to bed hungry. There was plenty of times I would leave the table at that moment and just go to my room because I didn’t want to eat whatever this new family had for me. It took a lot of compromise from both sides to make sure that I would eat anything that was healthy.
This was the case for a lot of things. I got thrown into a whole other world. This was a good change, but it was a change nonetheless. I had to relearn everything that I knew about the family. I can say that change at such a young age has had its effect on me now, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. It has prepared me for so many things that I have gone through and taught me that change is necessary and possible. The main thing I have taken away from all of this is that compromise is key. I know that it isn’t always a 50/50 compromise, but one that both parties can agree on, may it be husband and wife, parent and child, or government leaders.
Family is Everything 